Beautiful Nightmare
by Rina-the-Brave
Summary: Jane and Lisbon have a hard time remaining on separate sides of the line despite knowing it's best. It starts as something small, a kiss, and grows but neither expect much from the other in a romantic sense. Spoilers for all of Season 2.
1. Redemption

**Disclaimer: I bought the cutest little baby shoes today but no Mentalist.**

**a/n: Oh my goodness guys, it's been so long since I've been on here! I'm terribly sorry about the wait for this story, I know a lot of people have been eagerly awaiting it and I finally got some free time to type up the first chapter. Ara has been keeping me on the go, it's almost her third birthday! And only a couple more months until Patrick and I welcome baby #2 (our first child together). Okay, now back to the story, obviously there will be some differences from the plot line of 'Take Away'. I'm trying a different approach to them sleeping together, you'll see what I mean in this first chapter. Also I'm generally not comfortable writing Jane but this first chapter just wanted to be 'him'. I'll attempt to keep it pretty even between the two, although I'm kinda biased when it comes to Lisbon. I just love writing her.**

**I owe this entire story to: Nellie, thank you for kicking me in the butt, and holding my hand while I complained about work, and backaches, and Patrick. You're too sweet. Also, I'm going to kick your butt if you don't get to updating some things Missy! **

A soft evening glow had settled over the bullpen of the CBI, bathing the brown leather couch in warmth and making the man occupying it let out a sigh of content. He'd almost left. He would have to...if the team didn't need him so much. Yeah, okay, perhaps that wasn't the whole truth but it sounded good and the only person he'd come close to admitting the absolute truth to was none other than Teresa Lisbon. He'd told her that he had no where else to go, nothing else to do. He was starting to trust her a little too much for his own good.

He had to get the Red John case back. Bosco couldn't have it, it wasn't right. It was their case, his case, and it'd been taken away rudely and handed off to another team. For what? To punish them? He didn't buy the bullshit Minelli had passed off as a viable reason. It wasn't because he was too close, he'd always been too invested. It involved the man who had murdered his family, of course it was too personal.

Then there was Lisbon, she was somehow linked to Bosco, worked under him and such but there was something else. Something more and it had started to bug him. It was no doubt his minds way of dealing with the events of the day, the sting of losing a case he was a part of, but it let his brain have a little break from the torture it'd been dealing with throughout the day. Coming up with ways to get the case back was tiring. Thinking of things that had to deal with a certain spitfire who was still cooped up in her office, however, was almost relaxing to him. He wasn't stupid, he knew it probably hurt her to lose such a big case too, probably hurt when he'd said some things that he didn't really mean but for some reason, he couldn't say the words 'I'm sorry'. Instead he used fruit to make peace. It worked too, kind of.

The warmth shining through the windows suddenly wasn't so great, and he opened his eyes to stare up at the ceiling. So much had been happening and to lose something so important just really poured salt into the wound. He'd killed a man to save Lisbon. She still didn't know what to think about that and had been rather tense with him since. She was still required to see the CBI shrink and he'd already been cleared which she hadn't been happy about either. It was all a very tiring but he'd do it again. He'd kill the man again if it were to save her. She deserved life. In all honesty, he wasn't sure if she was warring with herself over the fact that he'd actually saved her or over the conversation they'd had in the cellar merely moments before.

He was curious. He needed to know. He needed to know now or it'd only eat away at him and he had enough on his shoulders already. Sitting up, he pushed himself off the couch and headed for the office he actually enjoyed visiting on occasion. The woman it belonged to was becoming a big part of his life, he hated to admit it. Hated that if he wasn't thinking of Red John, then his thoughts were wandering to the dark haired beauty. He absolutely hated that his chest felt tight and kind of fluttery when she smiled and that by hugging her, he'd only made things worse. He'd only made it harder to deny that he was getting too close, that he was caring too much. The woman was dangerous, well more like he was a danger to her wellbeing, to her health but she was somehow making it harder and harder to remain aloof.

Each step that took him closer to her door, only cemented the fact that he was in trouble. Big trouble. He couldn't deal with feelings when he was occupied with Red John. It'd make everything messy. He didn't want messy and he didn't want Teresa Lisbon. Or maybe that was it, maybe he strictly wanted her for physical purposes, maybe he just needed a release. He was a man, and it'd been awhile since he'd had a woman's company. Perhaps, he didn't actually have feelings for her. It was a stretch but he was willing to grasp at straws to explain it away. Red John was the reason he was there, the reason for his hunt. Red John. Not Lisbon. He had to keep that in mind. He couldn't let her get in the way. But maybe, if she needed a release too...no, he couldn't let his mind think such things. He had to keep his priorities straight. Red John. Not Lisbon. Part of him knew that his reasoning was whack, he knew that there was more to it but if he pretended then maybe it'd go away. It'd disintegrate. He could hope anyway.

Jane stood outside the door, just reading her name over and over for a good twenty minutes before he finally pushed it open without so much as knocking. There was no need for such things. She didn't even expect it out of him anymore so why ruin a good thing?

He almost sighed when seeing her, she looked tired all hunched over her desk with her fingers pinching the bridge of her nose. That was all the proof he needed to show that she was bothered by the turn of events and he actually wanted to hug her again. Clearly not one of his better ideas, although at the time it'd just seemed like the thing to do. She was too warm though, too little, so easy to wrap his arms around and dammit he needed to focus. However, when she acknowledged his presence by raising her eyes to meet his, he stepped forward and actually pushed the anger and guilt away for just a little while.

"Hey." A small grin tilted his lips at her greeting. She looked almost scared of what he could possibly say or do and with the way their last few days had gone, he guessed she had a right to be. He didn't have the heart to tell her that it'd only get worse.

"Hi."

"You okay, Jane?" Her voice took on that hushed, worried tone and her head tilted ever so slightly to the left, making her bangs fall away from her eyes. That was another thing, she'd changed her hair and wore a bit more makeup, and it was definitely something that was getting his attention in ways that it shouldn't. The woman was beautiful without help but with it she just, well it was just a lot harder to focus on his sole reason for existing; vengeance.

"M'fine."

"Look, I'm sorry about the Red John case but Bosco's one of the best. I'm not thrilled about it either but -"

"Not why I'm here." Her brow furrowed, eyes glittering in curiosity despite the words never leaving her lips. "There's something bothering me."

"I gathered that much."

"Are you mad because I saved your life or -"

"Oh for Pete's sake will you give that up already? I'm not mad at you for..." It puzzled him that she let the sentence trail off, almost as if saying the words would bring some impending doom upon them.

"Can I finish? Now, as I was saying, I'm not sure whether you're upset over that or because of our talk."

"What talk? We've had several, we talk quite often Jane." She was deliberately being difficult, he could tell that she knew exactly what he was referring to and it only confirmed the suspicions he'd been having. It was definitely that 'conversation' that had her feathers ruffled. It'd been weeks though, he'd figured she'd just forget about it.

"You know what I'm referring to and that's it, isn't it?" The sigh that flew from her lips was reassurance. "Lisbon, if you have a problem -"

"A problem? You know what Jane? I do. I have a huge problem with someone telling me that they'd rather be dead than alive. Go figure."

"So you do know what I'm talking about, and that's not what I said. You're twisting it around."

"How so?" If anger was a visible forcefield, he was pretty sure she'd be surrounded. But she wasn't mad at him which confused him a little. It was like she was angry because of his thinking but not with him. He watched her fingers twitch, almost as if they wanted to reach out and shake him.

"I believe, I told you to wait, you didn't because you said I'd be dead if you had and I'm pretty certain that I said something along the lines of...oh right; you would have had Red John."

"Can we not do this? It's been a rough week."

"Yeah, but you know, perhaps if you'd waited then we wouldn't even be dealing with losing the Red John case." The words filled the air without thought and silence settled between them. Lisbon looked as though he'd slapped her and immediately he wanted to take it back.

"Are you blaming me?" He wanted to say no but in truth, that's exactly what he'd implied and it bothered him that she looked hurt, stunned, a little lost.

"That came out wrong."

"Did it?" Jane felt as though someone had punched him in the gut the second he registered that her words sounded unsure, a bit watery. He was hurting her feelings, betraying her trust. He just couldn't get it right with her. It was probably best, it'd keep her at arm's length but he didn't really want that.

"Teresa," He was pushing it by bringing her first name into things. "I..."

"I don't want to do this right now, okay? I have paperwork to finish." That was her polite way of asking him to leave but he didn't move as she dropped her head back to her work. It hadn't been his intention to blame her for something she really didn't have any control over. That was not the reason he'd come to her office and he wasn't going to leave with her thinking it was.

First it was the brush of his fingers, his hand moving to cover hers to stop her from rearranging the papers on her desk, then it was the grasping of those same fingers to remove the pen from her hold. She wasn't looking at him, it happened quickly, and somehow – he honestly couldn't recall – he ended up rounding her desk. He was in front of her, then next to her and his hand hadn't left it's place. Her skin was warm, tempting as he felt something bubble deep within.

"Lisbon, I don't blame you." When she looked up at him, he could see that she wasn't quite sure what to believe and with what he hoped to be a reassuring grin, he closed his fingers around her palm and tugged. "What do you say we try that hug again?"

"Wha-no!"

"Oh c'mon woman, you were clearly taken off guard by the first." He hadn't given her much of a notice though, and they'd never actually touched in such a way before and here he was, asking her to do it again. He knew he'd won when she stood up. The seriousness of his words were pushed away, something they were both good at doing and when her lips tilted upwards, he knew he was at least partially forgiven. It was something.

Stepping closer, he cautiously pulled her into his chest. It was slower than the hug he'd given her with the strawberries, more intimate. Hands gripped her gently, one resting on the back of her neck to keep her in place for more than just a quick second and her tense body slowly relaxed. Her arms moved from being at her sides, barely touching his hips, to wrap around him and rest beneath his shoulder blades. It felt nice. He hadn't held a woman in a long time and that was exactly what he was doing to her. He wasn't hugging her, he was holding her.

After a few minutes, she squirmed a little, clearly growing uncomfortable but he didn't want to let go. He only eased up enough to let her move back an inch or so. She tried to go further but he caught her, wanting the moment to last just a bit longer, wanting to bask in her scent, breathe her in. She kept silent, but her muscles were tensed again and when he let her pull back enough to meet her gaze, he saw uncertainty. He saw questions and he was pretty sure if he looked in the mirror, he'd the same dancing in own eyes but he wasn't about to run to the bathroom to test the theory. He was too busy, too relaxed. She made him feel relaxed, and he wanted to hang on to that for just one minute more. Without thinking, he leaned in, let his nose bump gently against hers and felt the puff of air leave her lips.

She was so tense, she was practically shaking and she tried to lightly step away but the hand on the back of her neck didn't let her go anywhere and before she could say something to stop him, he pressed his mouth to hers. She whimpered, but he didn't pull back. Just one second. That's what he told himself but the second became more when he let his lips brush over hers just once. He felt a wave of pleasure shoot straight through him so he did it again, and again until she wasn't trying to get away anymore. When her small hands gripped his jacket and she pressed her body into his, he remembered. He remembered who he had in his arms, who he was kissing, who had just parted her lips to let his tongue explore. She felt good against him, her kiss felt intoxicating. He never thought she'd give in, let him do such a thing or even encourage it by the flick of her warm wet tongue against his own but Lisbon was doing just that. Indulging, he pulled her closer, holding her tighter and tangling his fingers in her hair but apparently that was the wrong thing to do.

She jerked away immediately, breathing erratic, lips swollen and eyes wide. Reality crashed hard. He'd kissed her, he'd kissed the woman he'd just spent months convincing himself to keep at a safe distance. Hell, he'd just been preaching to himself something along those same lines moments before. What the hell had gotten into him?

He could see she was thinking the same thing as her hands uncurled from his jacket and dropped to her sides. Shame etched into her features as well as embarrassment and he let her take three stumbling steps backwards causing her to almost trip over her chair. For the longest time they just stared. He had no idea what to say, thankfully she made it easy.

"T-that uh, that never happened." Nodding dumbly, he inwardly agreed and was relieved that she wasn't expecting something more. He couldn't give it. "You should go."

"Yeah." For a few more seconds, they both just stood there, staring as if the answer to why they'd both just had their tongues down each other's throats would mysteriously appear on the other's forehead. He didn't want to leave without saying something more so he offered up the only thing he could think of. "I'm sorry, I didn't come in here to blame you and then...I'll just go."

He left her standing there, looking shell shocked and didn't turn back. That had not been his intention. Quite the opposite but he couldn't help but wonder if the only reason she'd kissed back was because of the tension that'd built between them since the incident with Hardy or because of something else. Berating himself, he yelled for thinking such things when more important matters were lingering. He told himself to forget and remember that Red John was still his number one priority. Getting the case back was going to be hard enough, he didn't need any distractions.

**An2: There's chapter one of my next epic. I want to say I'll update soon but we all know how horrible I am at these things. I'm off to find the vanilla pudding...I swear either this kid will love vanilla pudding or hate it with a passion but she's making me crave it like no other.**


	2. The Scarlet Letter

**Disclaimer: I'm pretty sure my bank account would be happier if I owned the Mentalist but I don't.**

**An1: Well guys, the reviews were amazing so I managed to type up chapter 2 and with Lisbon in mind, so it's a more in depth, confused chapter. She's so confused, poor thing. I just love doing this to her. **

Her heart had stopped. It'd ceased to beat for those few seconds out of fear and it left her chest feeling funny and her head feeling utterly confused. Lisbon usually managed to keep her head straight but there were things messing up her tactics. Things being a man – Jane. It was his fault that she couldn't close her eyes without remembering what it'd felt like to kiss him, to be kissed by him. Her lips still tingled when he was around and it'd been a week since that evening in her office when things between them had become so complicated. But that wasn't when her heart had stopped, oh it'd definitely skipped a few beats but no, it stopped when a letter opener had been pressed against Jane's throat. When slapped in the face with the truth that Jane was human and had a knack for attracting dangerous situations that could eventually lead to his death, she realized the true weight of her feelings.

She didn't know _what _those feelings were but she knew now that they were stronger than she'd be comfortable admitting. She wouldn't admit it, ever, not even to herself and certainly not while sitting in her office late in the evening.

It was the reason she'd been upset with him so many weeks ago in that cellar when Red John had once again disappeared. Her watery words she'd spat out in anger had probably told him more than she ever intended but he hadn't said anything. In fact, they hadn't spoken a whole hell of a lot since. Nothing serious, always pertaining to the case or some attempts at joking around here and there but even that had tapered off since that stupid kiss. That delightfully stupid wonderful lip lock that she thought about more than she should. She hated it but she wanted it to happen again. Although, that was why she hated it, because she knew it couldn't. That'd be her one and only little taste of how things could be if circumstances were different but they weren't.

Some strange part of her was fine with that. He was Jane and she was Lisbon. Anything more than that would only end in disaster and she wanted to keep him as her weird, sometimes annoying, friend and consultant. He was a friend whether he realized it or not and it'd scared her when there was a sharp blade pressing into his skin. She hadn't fought, she'd complied with the terms given just so he wouldn't get hurt. She was almost positive that Patrick Jane had no idea he was capable of terrifying her in such ways.

It was easy to be pissed at him for reasons that probably only made sense to her but Lisbon didn't care much about such things. If she wanted to be pissed off at him for scaring the crap out of her, then she could. If she wanted to be pissed because Minelli had berated her for playing along with one of Jane's schemes, then she could and most importantly if she wanted to be pissed at him for inadvertently reminding her how it felt to let his tongue explore her mouth with every stupid grin then she could. Nothing was stopping her from it and she didn't know any other way of dealing with the mixed emotions and he only made it worse by acting as if nothing had happened.

Okay, so yeah, she'd told him – in not so many words – to forget about it but it still stung a little that it was so easy for him to do so while she was having such a hard time. Just a glance at him and she wanted a repeat session. It was wrong, so very wrong, but that was part of the appeal. It couldn't happen and that was what made her crave it all the more.

Minelli was right, she was drinking the kool-aid and the problem was that she liked it. She shouldn't but she did and she couldn't even feel ashamed. The man was constantly in her head, even hours after seeing him last and a ton of paperwork couldn't keep her mind from wandering to Jane. Was he okay? Had he eaten? Should she offer dinner? It was easy to tell just by looking at him that he wasn't taking care of himself after learning they'd been pulled from the Red John case. He looked as though he wasn't getting what very little sleep he usually managed and she was almost positive he'd lost a good five pounds. It wasn't healthy.

Thinking of ways to confront him about his decline kept her from letting her mind torture her about the shrink she was being forced to visit and the memories it stirred up. Worrying over Jane was her way of distracting herself from thinking of her own problems, not that she had problems. Her life was fine. She was content and things were good. Sort of.

Her feelings were rather tangled but she didn't need professional help to straighten them out. She'd manage fine on her own although apparently Dr. Carmen didn't seem to think so. It made her even more pissed off at Jane to know he'd been cleared and she was still under observation. It sucked. It more than sucked and even though it wasn't the consultant's fault, she still blamed him. It was easy to pin it on him since her jumbled emotions were mostly his doing – the recent ones anyway.

The mind boggling kiss being the most recent. For some reason she'd let herself be pulled into the illusion, let herself part her lips to his curious tongue and even urged him closer, wanting more. That brief moment, that small lapse in judgment was enough to have her constantly wondering what would have happened if she hadn't come to her senses and pushed him away? The answer to that, she didn't know but her brain rewarded the question with an onslaught of fantasies that plagued her dreams on sporadic nights.

Dropping her head to meet the solidity of her desk, she let out a groan and wondered how one man could hold so much power over her ability to concentrate. Then again, she wasn't so sure it was just the one man anymore. Bosco being back in her life had certainly stirred the pot a little and she still had no idea how to feel about that. Why did everything have to happen all at once? Perhaps Sam had been correct, perhaps there was something clouding her judgment as well and that something was becoming a bigger and bigger issue in every aspect of her life – Jane.

In a desperate attempt to try and make things less awkward, she exaggerated a sigh and decided that talking to the captor of her thoughts would be best. She'd tried to avoid, forget, it wasn't quite working as well as she'd hoped. Especially considering that there'd been two nights she'd let herself go while thinking of their kiss, let her hands explore as if they were his – she'd pretended they were – let herself indulge in touch and pleasure that she desperately wanted but hardly received.

Chastising herself for recalling such events while exiting her office to talk to Jane, her cheeks flushed and her body heated. Inwardly cursing, she took measured and steady steps to the bullpen while trying to momentarily push the sudden arousal from her senses. It didn't really work but she managed to somehow walk up next to the couch and gently nudge his shoulder with her knee. She didn't trust herself to do anything more.

"Oh, hey Lisbon." His nonchalance was starting to annoy her. Was it actually that easy for him? Of course it was, he had other things on his mind. Things he considered more important than her and though it shouldn't, the thought of being less important than a serial killer actually stung a little. She was growing used to feeling the weight in her chest. The weight brought on by knowing that Jane came with Red John, that even though she considered him a friend, she'd always be beneath his enemy in his mind. "Need something?"

"Uh, no, not really. I thought we could talk."

"Isn't that what we're doing?" The boyish grin irked her but she just shook her head in disbelief and silently willed him to get the message. "Okay, what's on your mind?"

"That's a loaded question." Raising an eyebrow as he swung his legs over the edge of the couch to sit up, Lisbon released a breath. When he patted the cushion next to him, she offered a tiny smile to politely decline. She was fine with standing.

"What do you want to talk about, Lisbon?" Searching the area with her eyes to make sure they really were alone, she spoke softly just in case.

"Last week, in my office."

"You're going to have to be more specific m'dear." Setting her jaw and straightening her shoulders, Lisbon gave him a glare. He knew exactly what she was talking about and she wasn't about to spell it out for his sick and twisted pleasure.

"This isn't a game, I'm serious."

"What do you want me to say? I thought it never happened. That was what you wanted, wasn't it?" Shocked by the edge she could hear in his voice, her automatic reaction was to go on the defensive.

"You agreed."

"Mm, so I did." He offered nothing else, just a blank gaze and she came to the conclusion that it'd be the only thing she pulled from him. It hurt a little and then she was angry with herself. It shouldn't bother her, it was Jane. What did she expect, some heartfelt declaration on how he wished it could happen again but knew they couldn't overstep that boundary? This was real life and it became clear in those moments subject to his stare that she honestly hadn't thought this through.

What did she want him to say? Truth be told, she had no idea. They weren't dating, they weren't going to date. It'd been a fluke, a moment where both had been blinded by the sting of losing the Red John case. Emotions had taken over and they'd both needed an outlet, that was it. So why had she even come out to talk to him? She didn't know but suddenly it seemed like a very bad idea.

Without saying anything more, she tore her gaze away from his and sucked her bottom lip between her teeth. In the process of gnawing at the flesh, she turned to leave with a sense of disappointment settling in her chest and had no real clue as to why she'd expected anything else.

She hadn't quite made it to the doorway when a hand caught hers. His hand, she knew. Warm and tugging her back around. She let him, let her body turn back and a puzzled look adorn her features. Releasing her abused lip from the hold of her teeth, she waited for him to say something, to do something. He was still gripping her fingers, brushing his thumb over her knuckles in an almost sensual manner. He wasn't helping put a stop to any of her fantasies by doing such a thing.

"I'm sorry, Lisbon." That was it? That was all she got? She would have been a little miffed at him for such a weak statement but something in his eyes gave away that he was really trying and just didn't know how else to say it.

"Me too." He was close. She could breathe him in, feel the heat of his body and it was only then that she noticed a tiny red spot on his neck. Leaning closer without thinking, she studied the mark until she realized that the blade of the letter opener must have nicked him. Unable to resist, and temporarily forgetting that they weren't the type to touch each other, she let her free hand raise to ghost over the area. It wasn't until he spoke that she was pulled back to reality.

"It's fine. Nothing life threatening." The hand he wasn't using to hold her hand moved up to grasp the one she had gently caressing the wounded skin. He pulled her fingers away and flashed her a small smile.

"Sorry, I just...I didn't notice before." It wasn't an excuse. She had no excuse for touching him like that but then again, he'd shoved his tongue down her throat the week before so maybe it was her payback. Although she wasn't sure of whom it was punishing. "I guess I came out here to find out why."

"Why it happened?" At her nod, he squeezed both of her hands gently and then let go. It was the only explanation she could come up with. Some part of her was curious as to why he'd kissed her and since avoiding the topic hadn't worked out so well for her, she'd wanted answers to questions that hadn't yet formed. "I think we were both shaken by the turn of events, tired, fed up."

"So we're in agreement that it was just an accident brought on by emotional distress?"

"Yeah."

"Good. Now come on, we're leaving." Pushing all of her confusion on the subject away for the time, Lisbon jerked her head in the direction of the elevator. No, she hadn't managed to forget the feel of his kiss and she'd probably only be making it worse but she was more concerned over his wellbeing.

"Wh-"

"Don't dally, let's go. I'm hungry." A hot meal would do him good and she needed to learn to live with her new memory. She couldn't just 'forget' that she'd kissed him but she wasn't planning on doing anything about it either. It'd live forever locked away in her mind and that would just have to be enough. Neither of them could handle anything more and she knew he hadn't been himself that day. Patrick Jane never would have done something like that. Patrick Jane was too dedicated in his hunt for the man who murdered his family.

**An2: And there's chap 2. Personally, I didn't much care for this episode...didn't give a whole lot to work with but I did the best I could and had Lisbon (kinda) confront Jane about the kiss even though she was the one who thought forgetting it ever happened was a bright idea. Oh Lisbon, how very confused you are. **

**Finally picked a name for my baby girl. After several arguments, Patrick and I settled on: Addalyn Rose.**


	3. Red Badge

**Disclaimer: I don't own the Mentalist...sadly.**

**An1: Firstly – I'm so sorry for taking so long to update...but we all know I have a bad habit of this. I had my little baby girl, Addalyn Rose, in December and she's amazing. Ara really loves being a big sister. So really, thank Patrick for this chapter because he's keeping the girls busy while I write this. Enough waiting around, here ya go...chapter 3 and let's just say it's a doozy of emotions. It's written in Jane's perspective again. A lot of readers seemed to enjoy when I get into his head.**

There was something heartbreakingly sad about the events of the last couple days. Lisbon being suspended, her name being dragged through the mud, and everybody questioning her sanity but all of that was about to change. The plan was thought out, set in motion and really the only thing that was left was the waiting game.

Jane had explained everything to the woman who thought her career was over, he'd made sure she understood that she hadn't committed murder. To say she'd been stunned at first would be an understatement but it'd quickly turned into anger towards the one setting her up and that was what would work to their advantage. He'd already worked everything out, he was on the way back to her apartment and soon it would all be over. Soon her name would be cleared, and he'd have his Lisbon back. Not that she was his per say, but he missed her and it was hard to see her upset and confused for some reason. Perhaps it was just a strange side effect from that kiss they'd accidentally shared a few weeks back or maybe he was grasping at straws. It was no secret that he considered Lisbon a friend, but was there more to it? Was he deluding himself by swearing that only Red John mattered and that nothing would stop him from seeking his revenge on the bastard? Why was he even questioning it?

That alone sent up a red flag in his mind. He was going to have to try harder to put some distance between himself and the members of the team...especially a certain senior agent. There was no way he could deny that he'd wanted her the night they'd mistakingly locked lips which was why part of him was a bit wary to be going back to her apartment at night. It seemed more dangerous at night which explained why he'd been sitting in his car, in the parking lot for over twenty minutes. He needed to hurry, get inside before Carmen arrived but his thoughts were racing.

He wanted to help her, seeing her so unsure of herself had really bothered him and now that he knew the truth, he just wanted to reassure her. It took him only three and half minutes to convince himself that he had to go inside, wait for the doctor and watch the trap fall into place. Three and half minutes to get over himself, get out of the car and walk to her door. It took another minute to knock and probably twenty seconds for her to answer but that wasn't what had him at a loss for words when she jerked the door open. It was her choice of attire that took his mind back to being in her office, with her body pressed so tightly against his own.

"Are you coming in or are you going to stand there and blow the whole thing?" Torn between running away and trusting himself not to do anything stupid, he stepped inside. At least she was back to her old self and making jokes, smiling even.

"You're wearing _that_ for this operation?" Not the most eloquent question he'd ever formed but it served the purpose. She frowned a little as he watched her look down at her jersey and shrug, almost as if she was suddenly self conscious about it. A little late for that in his opinion. God, her legs.

"I thought it'd add to the 'helpless insane woman' ploy. Besides, it's what I wear to bed. Too much?"

"Uh, no. No it's perfect." His eyes shouldn't have lingered but they did. He shouldn't have said anything but it was too late and the warm feeling spreading through his body alerted him to the dangers that Teresa Lisbon brought about. He was a gentleman, he wasn't about to jump her, but he wouldn't lie and say he wasn't thinking about it. The cinema in his brain started playing a loop of images all involving her silky looking skin and getting her out of that taunting piece of clothing.

"Do you want anything to drink? Eat?" The awkwardness had set in. When he'd been invited to her apartment the first time there hadn't been any room for awkwardness. They'd both been too busy worrying over what truths the hypnotism would bring to the surface but now, they knew the truth and it was simply a matter of being alone together.

Normally that wouldn't be a big deal. After all, even though they'd crossed a line with a kiss, they had still been comfortable with one another. This was a whole new ballgame. She was only in a shirt, and the last several days had been just as emotionally trying as the days that led up to their mouth fusing mistake.

"Jane? I asked if you'd like something to drink – are you alright?"

"Hm? Oh, no thanks. I'm fine." A few seconds of silence stole the spotlight as she nodded in a somewhat disbelieving manner. He cleared his throat rather awkwardly and rocked back on his heels. Hands clasped tightly behind his back to keep himself from giving into the temptation to touch her, Jane looked around as if he was examining her things. She didn't call him on the fact that he'd been there earlier and he was grateful.

He knew his behavior was affecting hers but she seemed to be attempting to maintain some sense of normalcy. Despite her distraction inducing attire, she walked by him, tempting him even further when her arm brushed against his. Jane knew he was in trouble the moment she moved to sit in her chair and the jersey rode up exposing her thigh and a hint of black fabric beneath. Of course, she righted the malfunction immediately and her cheeks tinted red but he'd still seen. He'd caught the peek of her panties and he was no longer sure he'd make it out of her apartment without doing something stupid. It shouldn't have affected him so much but it did. He caught her gaze just as she pushed her hair behind her ear and all bets were off. He hadn't showed up to take advantage of the situation, he'd come for support, to watch her pull off a scheme they'd plotted out together.

But he was not a saint. He wasn't like her. He couldn't be in her home with her wearing next to nothing and looking beyond beautiful and simply not do anything. He was trying. He wanted to be a good guest, he didn't want things to be weird between them and he knew he was lucky that things hadn't been already. The woman was too good to him. She didn't hold the kiss against him, didn't bring it up except for that one time. He didn't deserve her but the look in her green eyes proved that she felt something for him. Something beyond friendly. It wasn't a good thing, he didn't want her to think there could ever be anything romantic between them. And in that moment, he caught something else in her all-telling windows to the soul. She expected nothing. There was hurt there, pain and he knew why but since when had the thought started bothering him?

He hadn't ever noticed the disappointing sinking sensation in his chest at the thought of not being able to have anything resembling a relationship with the woman seated a few feet away from him. The woman he was still staring at silently, the woman still staring back. Neither of them moved for the longest time. Not even a flinch, conversing with their eyes things that were better left unsaid. They both knew what was being made obvious, that kiss hadn't been _nothing._ No sense in denying it further but acknowledging it made things dangerous. That wasn't the only thing that Jane considered dangerous.

"Jane..." Lisbon's voice when it was low and shaky was incredibly alluring. It didn't snap him out of his trance, if anything it sent him spiraling deeper into the abyss. He knew she'd finally spoken in hopes of finding out what was happening but the only thing he could convince his body to do was move closer. He couldn't give her an explanation. He tried to think of other things, tried to talk himself out of what he was about to do. He scolded himself, thought of Red John, thought of his family which only made him feel guilty for the way he walked over to her. He took away her personal space before she could question him or move away by placing his hands on the arm rests of her chair. She couldn't back away but he saw a flash of fear in her eyes followed closely by want.

Her lips moved but he didn't hear anything come out and whatever force had taken over him, compelled him to lean in. The feel of hands against his chest registered in the back of his mind but it didn't stop him, she wasn't telling him no. With one last glance into her eyes, he closed his and went in for the kill. He expected to feel her soft lips but instead was met with soft skin. No doubt she'd turned at the last minute but her breath still hitched in her throat and without thinking of the consequences he let one hand reach for her chin to tilt her face back into place. She whimpered when their mouths touched. The memory of their first kiss flooded his brain and he knew it was doing the same for her. She didn't resist him anymore. She answered his moving lips with her own, tasted his tongue on hers and slowly moved her hands from his chest to his neck.

There was no doubt in Jane's mind that he was making a huge mistake but he didn't want to stop. He wanted to make the mistake and when she let her body arch, he took the opportunity to pull her up and out of the chair. The space between them disappeared, his hands roamed her body. He bunched the fabric of her shirt in his fists and the thought crossed his mind to just rid her of it. He didn't. He waited, moved his hands down to the hem and raised the cloth just enough to have access to the black panties he'd caught sight of. It was wrong of him to do such a thing. He shouldn't have even started it but when she moaned low in her throat, he knew he didn't want to stop. He'd worry later and he knew she would too. They were friends, they shouldn't be doing such a thing. He still wore his ring. He still wanted Red John. Nothing was working in favor of them but he just wanted to touch. She was soft. And warm.

When their lips separated it wasn't for long and neither one of them seemed to be thinking. They were enjoying each other's feel, sound, touch. Lisbon held onto him for dear life, almost as if she feared that he'd come to his senses or perhaps that she'd come to hers. He didn't mind, simply slipped his hand beneath the band of her underwear and reveled in the way she jerked her mouth from his to bury her head in his shoulder. He knew that her cheeks were flushed, he knew that she was aroused, and he knew what he wanted.

Both of them knew what would happen, both of them could have stopped the whole thing but neither did. They didn't want to. It didn't matter that it was the smart thing to do. They would have found the bed or perhaps the couch judging by the way her hips pushed against his hand the moment he moved a finger to her folds. But they didn't make it that far. They hadn't stopped it, they were still very much locked together in what would have been considered a compromising position when there was a knock.

They froze, faces showed the realization of what had happened and what was happening. They would have gone to bed had it not been for the arrival of who they knew to be Dr. Carmen. Their own plan had kept them from making a mistake and when Jane practically jumped away from her to head for hiding, they both knew that it'd been a close call. Irresponsibility on both their parts. Once Jane had found his place at the top of the stairs, he vowed to keep himself in check. Red John. Getting the case back. Getting too attached to Teresa Lisbon did not coincide with his plans. Something told him that his plans had just been fucked up.

**An2: Well that's chapter 3, I'm so sorry it took me forever. I promise I won't take as long to update next time. :)**


	4. Red Menace

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything, be glad.**

**AN1: So I didn't take as long to update. I think this is a plus. :) Honestly this episode is another one of those that I didn't really care for but I did my best with the amusing parts. Hope you all enjoy this chapter. **

At the time, Lisbon had walked away, calling the man crazy in her mind and wondering why on earth she ever put up with him but the more she thought about it, the more amusing the concept seemed. Lisbon Loafers, hm, perhaps it wasn't a terrible idea. Oh god, she was starting to think like him. It was a terrible idea and she needed to remember that. The more she thought about the look on his face as he'd looked at the catalog, the warmer her face got.

"_You can buy logo merchandise. Sinner Saints coffee mugs, beach towels...whoa and some various other interesting little knick-knacks." Jane's voice stayed controlled as Lisbon tried not to blush at the thought but it was hard considering it had been only days since he'd touched her intimately. _

"_Nice." _

"_Yeah. Well, if they do it, we should do it." Her brain went straight into the gutter. Did the man not know what he was doing to her? Did he not realize just because they hadn't mentioned the fact that he'd stuck his hand down her panties, she was still frustrated? "Range of casual wear, maybe? Sensible shoes?"_

_Lisbon lets out a breath and glances down at her feet. Her shoes are sensible. In fact she definitely considered them to be one of her greatest investments. She had a strange feeling he was making fun of that._

"_I'll get right on that." Knowing that she needed to retreat before embarrassing herself, Lisbon began to walk away but still heard his next words._

"_Lisbon Loafers."_

Just thinking about the exchange made her mind wander to the way they'd kissed in her home, as if dying and the only way to stay alive was to fuse their mouths together. The way his hands had felt against her skin, so warm they'd given her a case of shivers. She knew it was a good thing that they'd stopped but she'd be lying if she said she didn't dream about what would have happened if there hadn't been a knock on the door. It was inappropriately erotic to fantasize about, especially when she was still working on filling out a few sheets of paperwork but she couldn't help it. She'd been constantly aroused around him lately all because he'd worked her up quite efficiently with just the build up leading to their second kiss and the way his fingers had slid through her folds.

She'd known that perhaps wearing just that jersey would set him off and even though she'd been the one to say their kiss hadn't happened, she had kind of worn it strictly to get something out of him. Why? She didn't know. They couldn't have a relationship, she didn't want one. Neither did he, she knew that. It was something that wasn't in the cards for them. But they could no longer deny that they were attracted to each other. She could no longer deny that all he had to do was kiss her in a certain way, touch her, and she'd be wet almost instantly. Although, she'd been turned on before he ever arrived, just the thought of him being around while she was scantily clad had been arousing enough. The night had ended fairly well, her name was cleared after all but Jane kept his distance, not that she blamed him. It was for the best. They didn't need to give in to whatever the hell was pushing them into these interesting situations. Two kisses, one almost became more but she wanted to give in. She wanted to know what rested beneath his suits and if he was an attentive lover.

Lisbon really couldn't concentrate when her thoughts had led her to rather steamy instances with her consultant. In fact, she was uncomfortable. Between her thighs felt warmer and wet and that was why she made a vow to learn exactly what he wanted from her.

Giving up on the work she needed to have done, Lisbon leaned back and stretched her arms above her head. Her lower back was aching from sitting in the chair too long and her shoulders hurt due to slouching over her desk. She reached for the hair tie holding her dark locks captive, she pulled it loose, and shook her head to let her hair fall. It was about that time of night that she'd begin to pack up her things and go home. For some reason, she just didn't feel like getting her things together or going home to a lonely apartment that now reminded her of how truly alone she was. There was no way she could stand another night of ice cream and an old movie before bed. If she stayed late enough then she'd get home and crawl right into bed.

"Hey Lisbon." The sudden intrusion by the very man she was trying to pry out of her mind startled her into almost falling out of her chair.

"Shit, Jane. Knock once in awhile, would ya?"

"The door was open." It wasn't. She knew it hadn't been, he was lying but the smile on his face made her even more aware of the burning in her lower region. And then she noticed his attire. What was up with the hat and long coat?

"What are you wearing?"

"Clothes. I find they're necessary to be accepted into todays society." The glare she shot him only made his smile grow and she came to the conclusion that it was going to be much harder than she'd originally thought to stay away. Two mishaps already, they couldn't afford anymore. "Are you alright? You look a little flushed."

"I'm fine."

"Are you sure? You could be coming down with something." If she didn't know better, she'd think he knew exactly why she was pink in the face and was having fun pretending not to.

"I said I'm fine."

"Well if you say so." She wanted him to leave her alone but something told her that wasn't happening. He had taken the hat off, sat it on the arm of her couch and plopped down. Why did he have to be there, late at night, while she was fighting with her body over her unwanted arousal?

"Is there something you want, Jane?" It was the wrong question to ask. The look in his eyes went from one of teasing to one of complete seriousness. She knew what he was going to say and she didn't want to talk about it. They'd mistakenly talked about their first kiss and she was positive that was why there had been a second.

"Actually, yes," Her breathing grew labored as he shed the coat, the action caught her gaze and held it as he slowly pulled the sleeves from his arms. "I should probably apologize."

"For what?" Unbeknown to Lisbon her tongue darted out to wet her lips when he shrugged off the suit jacket as well. Her mouth felt awfully dry.

"Oh, you know, for practically having my way with you in your living room the other night." That immediately drew her eyes back to where they should have been all along and her mouth dropped open a little in shock. She'd assumed they would steer clear of that topic.

"Uh, wh-what?"

"Lisbon, I think it goes without saying that it was a bad idea. I mean absolutely terrible, I don't know why you let me do it." A bubble of hurt busted in her chest at his tone. It seemed as though he was blaming her for not stopping it.

"Excuse you, I did not _let _you. Well I did but I didn't mean...you know what, no, don't you try to pin this on me."

"Don't get all angry. I'm apologizing. I'm just also making it clear that you obviously didn't stop me." Her face was definitely flushed but with anger now. He was pushing her buttons and she had no idea why he wanted to make her mad. "How far would you have let me go? Hm? I mean you weren't protesting when my hand was against your - "

"That's enough." He no longer looked like the smiling man that had entered her office, he looked angry and it was directed at her. "What the hell is your problem?"

"My problem is you." Flinching as if she'd been slapped, Lisbon felt another burst of hurt in her chest. "It's you."

"Then why are you here? You don't have to be. Everyone else went home so there's nothing stopping you from doing the same!" It took only moments of a quick silence for Lisbon to stand, anger rolling off of her shoulders, and make her way towards the origin of her problems. "No actually, stay Jane."

He went from having cold as steel eyes to a stunned stare. Apparently he'd expected her to make him leave but now that he mentioned it, she wanted to know what the hell he meant. She wanted him to stay right where he was and explain to her why she was such a problem in his world.

"Why don't you explain to me why I'm such a problem when I haven't done a damn thing to piss you off." There was a pregnant pause in which she stepped closer and he stared at her. Nothing happened but she watched the emotion in his eyes change again and she knew she was about to push him a little too far. "I'm waiting. What the hell did I do that's got you so..."

"Stop it." A rough grip circled her wrist and pulled her forward with a jerk until she fell into Jane's lap. "Woman, you are the best kind of problem."

"Wha -" The crush of his mouth against hers stopped Lisbon from asking what the fuck he was doing. She could have pulled away easily but he was possessively claiming her lips and she'd been so worked up and it felt so good. His tongue tangled with hers when she let out a sigh and his grip on her wrist loosened. Lisbon knew that she'd told herself not to get involved but his touch always made that thought seem so trivial and unnecessary. Her anger poured out against him, his was rather clear through the way he tugged on the ends of her hair and she nipped at his lips in retaliation. This was why she considered him dangerous. She knew that they shouldn't be anywhere near each other and yet she was moving her legs around to straddle him while pulling back from his addictive mouth to leave kisses along his jaw.

She wasn't thinking of consequences or location, she didn't want to. Judging by his slightly erratic breathing, she'd say that he didn't want to think anymore either. The anger between them wasn't forgotten, his hands gripped her hips tightly, pushing her down against his lap and she waited until her mouth was by his ear to bite into his flesh. He'd been mean, as childish as that sounded, and she felt like she had to show him that hurting her was no way to try and push her away. It'd become clear when he plundered her mouth thats what he'd been trying to do. He was trying to hurt her, make her angry enough to want nothing to do with him but it wasn't going to work now. She knew.

"Lisbon..." His hands were in her hair then, tugging and pulling her back to his mouth. She wouldn't let him, she resisted and that was probably what led to the growl that started low in his chest. Next thing she knew, he'd grabbed her hips roughly and twisted them both around until she was flat on her back and he was looming above. The shock of being practically manhandled by someone she knew she could easily overpower was a major turn on and made it quite clear that they couldn't dance around each other forever. It wasn't working. Just two and half weeks and they'd had so many mishaps. Pushing her hips up against his, she felt his excitement press into her and moaned as he smashed his mouth against hers.

Nothing mattered. Everything slipped away as his hands began to undress her. She didn't stop him, she didn't care that his fingers were brushing along her skin with each button he popped free. Her chest was heaving, lungs starving for air and unable to take it, she turned her head to free her lips from his. He didn't let it phase him, his mouth just landed on her ear, sucking the lobe between his teeth and making her gasp. His voice rumbled against her skin as his fingers continued their assault on her newly exposed chest and stomach.

"You. You drive me insane." She chose to ignore his statement. She'd chalk it up to the lust that was obviously clouding both of their judgments. It was easy to forget he said anything when his palm cupped her breast through her bra. He wasn't gentle, he was curious. He pulled and pinched at her nipple, delighting in the way she wiggled beneath him.

She felt a rush of cool air when he drew back to watch himself touch her. It was then, when she looked into his eyes that she felt reality crash around her. She started to panic, she'd swore she wouldn't let this happen and there he was, on top of her, pinning her down and slipping his hand beneath her bra. The touch of his skin on her sensitive nipple sent a jolt of pleasure straight to her groin. She couldn't stop him yet, she just watched as he stared down at her. She watched as he pushed the fabric of her bra out of the way to expose her breasts to his hungry gaze. He wet his lips at the sight and her hips jerked involuntarily, drawing a growl from his throat. He began to lean in, his mouth heading for the rosy nipples that were peaked and begging for attention but she stopped him with one breathy whisper.

"Don't." He looked at her then, a little curious and she tried to offer a smile of reassurance before remembering that it'd all started because she was angry with him and apparently he was angry with her too. "This is a terrible idea remember?"

"It is."

"Then why..."

"I can't stop thinking about you since that kiss and I think if we just...if we -" She knew what he was trying to say and for some reason it hurt. She didn't care about him as anything more than a friend but it still caused an ache in her chest. "If we..."

"If we fuck, maybe it'll go away? Let you focus on revenge." Her anger resurfaced, doubling the more she thought about it. He wanted sex just to clear his mind? No. She'd be okay if he just admitted he was attracted to her but couldn't be in a relationship. That she'd understand. She was attracted to him but that didn't mean she wanted to date him or be anything more than friends. "Because let's face it that's the only thing you care about."

He recoiled, her words being harsh enough to send him scrambling off of her. She laid there for a moment, clothes still in disarray and panting.

"What do you want from me, woman?"

"Nothing. I don't want anything." She wanted him. Her arousal was more than uncomfortable but she didn't want to be a one night office fuck. She wasn't asking for a boyfriend, she was asking for a friend and maybe a lover. That was all, that's where she'd thought they were heading. "Get out."

"Lisbon..." She didn't say anything, just adjusted her bra to cover herself and began fixing her clothes. She didn't tell him that if he'd told her that he just wanted her then the whole thing wouldn't have ended. She would have let him continue, let him have his way with her right there on the couch but no. Not when he'd all but admitted that he wanted sex just to get her out of his system.

"What are you still doing here? Get out!" She needed to think. She needed to reevaluate the situation and have some time to cool down. She had to work with the man so she couldn't stay upset.

"I thought you knew that I can't be...I can't be anything you want." The sadness in his eyes was almost enough to make her forget her morals and just let him do what he had to but the anger still lingered around the edges. It was enough.

"You don't have a goddamn clue as to what I want. You never asked."

"You want love, you want someone to count on. That's not me, sounds more like Bosco." He was partially right, her shoulders sagged and she dropped her head into her hands. Yeah she wanted those things, every woman did but she also knew that she probably wouldn't ever get them. All she wanted was him.

"Bosco's married and I'm not interested in him. Just please, go." He grabbed his belongings in a rush and then pulled the door open. He stopped in the doorway, turning back to look at her.

"I want you and you're my friend. No denying that, and I'll gladly take you but I need you to know that I can't do anything more than that." She opened her mouth but he cut her off. "I'm not a saint. I'll kill Red John, I won't ever remarry, I don't think I could ever love anyone else. I'm just being honest."

Lisbon didn't know what to say. She wanted to offer him a place to stay, in her bed but she didn't. She was stronger than that. The hot and cold act between them wasn't something that she could put up with all the time. If they slept together, she was afraid that's all it'd ever be, just hot and cold. He left without another word and she sat on the couch in her office for a good hour going over his departing words.

He was confusing. One second he'd said he thought they should have sex just to get it out of their system, at least that's what she thought he'd meant, and then he said that he wanted her but wouldn't ever be the romantic perfect man that only existed in movies. The man needed to make up his mind. At this point, she knew their relationship could go two ways. It could back pedal to strictly friends or it could move to something more complicated. So why on earth was she voting for the more complicated route?

**An2: Well that's another chapter under my belt. Yes, Jane is wishy washy, and yes Lisbon is confused by her own wants. I hope you liked it though. **


	5. Red Scare

**Disclaimer: If I owned it then I wouldn't be working at Walmart and struggling through college. Just putting that out there.**

**AN1: For everyone who has been asking: Me, Patrick and the girls are great. Thanks. It's just been crazy busy. This chapter is probably a favorite of mine even though it's a little short. You'll see why. And hey, the episode was great too with the whole Van Pelt/Rigsby stuff but I write for the Jisbon so here's some of it. Not too much, don't want to rush things. Ha, as if they haven't already rushed. By all means, enjoy.**

The CBI was used to seeing some outrageous things, especially Jane but even he'd admit that the last case was a bit odd. The things people would kill over really boggled his mind. Hidden treasures, murderous ghosts, and haunted mansions - yeah the case would definitely continue to entertain him for a few days. It made it better that he'd found the treasure. The bottles of wine were worth a fortune and he'd popped one open to share with the team. In actuality, he wasn't so much trying to share with everyone that he was a mastermind who could find treasure. Okay, maybe a little but he was actually hoping the wine would help ease the tension between him and his favorite team member.

He didn't blame Lisbon for being frustrated with him. He didn't blame her for the cold shoulder when it came to anything that wasn't case related and he'd give her credit for pretending she was fine but he knew better. He didn't confront her though, that hadn't ended well the last time he tried it and even if he wanted to talk to her, he wouldn't dare do it in front of anyone. No one needed to know about their mishaps. So he waited. Waited until she'd taken off towards her office after Rigsby and Grace mysteriously disappeared. He smiled a little to himself at that thought as he tapped lightly on her office door. He wouldn't push too many boundaries just yet. She was still sore with him.

"Come in." Jane noticed that she sounded a little tired, worn down a bit. He really hoped he wouldn't make it worse. Sometimes he felt like two different people. One was so caught up in revenge and angry about losing the Red John case that he didn't care if he caused trouble for others, including Lisbon. The other, hated the thought.

When he stepped into the quiet little office, the first thing he noticed was that Lisbon didn't act surprised at all by his presence. Maybe she expected this, although the last time they were alone late at night in her office, he'd had her beneath him on the couch and bare chested. He couldn't think about it though, or he'd want it - want her.

"I uh, I just came to apologize." Her brow furrowed a little, almost as if she didn't believe him but he could see a bit of light return to her eyes. "I should have done so sooner."

"We both should have."

"Lisbon, I never want you to think that I just wanted to..to use you that night." Jane had never really felt awkward in Lisbon's office before but he did now. He felt really out of place, not even bothering to sit or bring his hands out from behind his back until he knew that they were on the same page.

"It never happened. None of it. We just need to forget it and go about our business." He wanted to snap back at her, tell her that them 'pretending it didn't happen' was what led to the mess they were in but he didn't. The look burning in her eyes begged him not to and for once, he obeyed. For some reason she trusted him and it kind of scared him. If the woman knew half the things he'd been doing to try to gain information on his nemesis she'd probably shoot him. "Are we good?"

"Yeah, yeah we're fine." A deep sigh left her lungs, her shoulders dropped in relief and he realized how terrified she'd truly been. She didn't want to be on bad terms with him anymore than he wanted to. Staring at her for a moment, he took in the features he studied often. The eyes that he loved, and that gave away the fact that she hadn't been sleeping well. The flush in her cheeks, a mix of the wine and her embarrassment no doubt. Just looking at her for a moment, left him wanting more and he knew that he needed to say it. "But just so you know, I..."

A knock interrupted him and made Lisbon startle. He cursed whoever was behind the offending noise and momentarily closed his eyes to reign in his frustration. Would they never have a chance to talk? Lisbon looked a bit panicked but recovered, she'd been completely caught up in their conversation but quickly collected herself enough to usher the visitor in. Jane knew the moment the door opened that he should have waited a couple more hours to visit his favorite senior agent. Sam Bosco was not his favorite anything.

"Am I interrupting?"

"No."

"Yes." They'd spoken at the same time, both stating different answers and Jane watched curiously as Lisbon's cheeks flushed pink. Her answer of 'no' had been overridden by his 'yes' which of course sparked Bosco's interest. "We were just in the middle of a lovely conversation about Lisbon telling me to 'bite her'."

Seconds of silence ticked by, Jane smiling brightly and the other two occupants in the room just staring at him wide eyed. He'd pay for it later, no doubt but he couldn't resist a little taunting. It was his duty to make people uncomfortable. Lisbon would definitely maim him for it, he could tell by the way her jaw dropped and then snapped shut. He was hoping to cause some sort of scene but then she surprised him, she collected herself and gave a small polite smile to their guest. Why was she smiling at him? He interrupted something important.

"Don't mind him, Sam. Did you need something?"

"No. I was just coming to tell you good job on closing the case, Teresa." Being a master of observing, Jane picked up the uncomfortable air buzzing in the room and also something underlying. Something he couldn't quite place just yet but he'd figure it out soon. He also didn't miss the tequila bottle hidden behind the agent's back.

"Thank you."

"Well, goodnight." Jane almost laughed at Bosco's hasty exit but his glee was cut short by a glare. It felt good to see that fire in her gaze. They were back and he let a smile bloom.

"What the hell was that? We were not discussing such things."

"Meh, I was just riling him up. Good fun and I'd like to point out that you have told me to bite you. More than once I believe." Feeling more confident about their relationship, Jane flopped down on the couch and rested his hands beneath his head. At least they'd cleared up some issues.

"You're a jackass."

"So what's the deal with you and Bosco?" His eyes were closed but he could practically see her head snap up at his question, see her smirk fall from her lips. He'd touched a nerve and he knew it. "Lovers once upon a time, perhaps?"

"No, and it's none of your business." He honestly expected anger in her voice but it was more playful. Almost a 'I know something you don't know' kind of tone.

"I believe you. You're too respectable and he's married."

"Well I suppose I should be flattered that you don't think I'm a floozy who steals husbands." His grin grew as he pictured her rolling her eyes and returning to her paperwork. It was nice to have his friend back. It wasn't easy to just push aside the fact that he'd seen her naked breasts or that his hand had been down her panties before but if it led to them being tense and awkward then he'd try. He didn't want to be that way with her. He wanted to joke, banter, and annoy her. All the things that made her look at him with that frustrated look he loved so much that usually ended up being a smile by the end of the day.

"Hm, maybe you two were involved in some sort of scandal at SFPD. I'll figure it out."

"Jane." He opened one eye just in time to see her toss a pen at him. It landed on his stomach but he just snuggled deeper into her couch, pretending it didn't even affect him. It really didn't. It was just a pen.

"That wasn't exactly nice." He heard her scoff.

"Go to sleep."

"If you insist."

"I do."

"Okay."

"Jane." He'd never tire of hearing his name in that frustrated tone.

"Shh woman, I'm trying to sleep." He half expected another pen to come flying his direction or something heavier but nothing. She just sighed and he listened to her movements to lull him into a state of comfort. She'd wake him before she left. He knew she would and then he'd make the trip to his lonely hotel room but for now, he had company. Good company and she'd forgiven him. Things were good. Not great because his mind was still conjuring up ways to deal with Bosco but at least he hadn't completely ruined things with the only person who seemed to care. Although a little niggling in the back of his mind kept asking him why he felt the need to be close to her when he'd no doubt destroy her trust some day. That little thought kept him from completely relaxing, it kept him awake.

**An2: Short, very short chapter but I really just wanted to get them back on good terms before all hell breaks loose in the next chapter. Thank you everyone who is reading and still reviewing. I really appreciate it. I would normally reply to every review as most of you know but I'm on the library computer so I don't have enough time. :(**


	6. Black Gold and Red Blood

**Disclaimer: I own nothing but the seasons on DVD.**

**An1: So after watching the 4x01, I was in the mood to write. There's not a whole lot to say about this chapter...except be prepared. That is all.**

**Dedicated to NellietheMarvelous.**

The sound of metal hitting wood resounded through the apartment as Lisbon let her keys slip from her hand to land on the table. After the last couple of days she'd had, exhausted was a complete understatement. There was no real way to describe how many different emotions she felt at this point. Disappointment, hurt, sadness, anger, and even some happiness. It was a bundle of feelings bubbling within her chest and she had no idea how to deal with them. With a sigh, she shrugged out of her jacket and tossed it haphazardly across the chair before she slipped her shoes off. Why was it that just when she thought she was getting through to Jane, he did everything he possibly could to screw it all up?

Silently cursing the man, she let her defenses drop as she walked through her apartment. Her body ached, muscles tensed with anxiety from the events she'd been subjected to. Any respect Bosco had for her was probably demolished. She hadn't been bluffing, or maybe she had. She really wasn't too sure of that herself but she'd known the only way to get Jane out of jail was to practically blackmail Sam into dropping the charges. Actually there was no _'practically' _about it. She'd blackmailed a man she trusted and looked up to for Patrick Jane. There had been betrayel and hurt on Bosco's face when he realized that she was serious - that she was willing to give up her job as well. Honestly, she'd just hoped he'd do as she asked and apparently her tactic had worked.

Jane was free from being behind bars and that'd been the goal but had it cost her the trust of a close friend? That question was lurking in her mind but it wasn't what bothered her the most about the whole ordeal. No, what she couldn't push to the back of her brain and forget about was the fact that Bosco acted, even hinted, like there was something going on between her and Jane. There absolutely was not. She'd forgotten all their _encounters_ as if they'd never happened. Well, okay most of them.

Her body sank into the couch and she realized there was no point in lying to herself. She hadn't forgotten a damn thing. She remembered everything. Every little tiny detail of their first kiss, their second, and their third, she remembered it all. No matter how hard she tried, she couldn't forget the warm wetness of his mouth, the way his tongue tangled with hers, the way his hands slid over her skin or the way his fingers felt against her...okay, this wasn't helping. She was just managing to frustrate herself.

_He closes cases. _That had been her excuse but it wasn't exactly true. Yes, Jane closed cases like no other but something had happened between them. A lot had happened and it was apparently affecting her outward disposition if people were noticing - people like Bosco. It wasn't anyones business but it also shouldn't have occurred. Nothing should have happened between them but it had. No, not _had_, it was happening. She hadn't been able to stop her thoughts from wandering which meant that it was still there. Whatever it was that kept drawing them together was still _there _inside her. That wasn't something that Lisbon approved of. The man was under her skin, in her thoughts, and it bothered her. It angered her. She hadn't realized how much until he'd escaped from jail. He really didn't understand boundaries in any aspect whatsoever.

Growling in frustration, Lisbon pushed herself up from the couch and was headed to the stairs when she was startled by a pounding on her door. She thought of it ignoring it but the noise persisted. All she wanted was a hot bath, maybe some wine, and bed. Without thinking, she rolled her eyes and went towards the door. Part of her knew who was waiting on the other side before she ever opened it and the other part of her liked to believe that person was smart enough to just leave her be. He wasn't.

There was Patrick Jane's smiling face, greeting her as she scowled at him. No matter how stupid his actions were, she still felt that tugging in her chest when she saw him. At least he was okay.

"What are you doing here, Jane?"

"I thought I'd make you dinner." The shock must have shown on her face because he chuckled and shook his head. "To say 'thank you' for getting me out of jail."

"I didn't get you out."

"Oh come on, Lisbon. We both know that you talked Bosco into dropping all charges." She crossed her arms, squared her shoulders and set her jaw. If she let him in, she was toeing a dangerous line. One that she knew they'd already blurred. "It's going to be a little difficult to cook if I'm standing outside."

It crossed her mind to shut the door but it'd be rude and he really hadn't done anything _recently _to warrant that kind of reaction. He was her friend, in some strange and twisted way. Her heart pounded against her ribcage when she stepped aside and gestured for him to enter. He hadn't been to her apartment since the night with Dr. Carmen and she vividly remembered his hand finding it's way between her legs. Her body grew warm and she felt as though she'd just made a huge mistake by letting him walk through the door. Work made it easier to distance herself from innapropriate memories and feelings but this was her home. He'd been in it twice but those times hadn't felt this personal which she found a little odd considering he'd hypnotized her during one of his visits. She felt like she'd just opened another door into her personal life and he'd waltzed right in with a smile. Oh yes, she was screwed.

"I'm not actually hungry so you don't have to - "

"Oh I wasn't gonna cook, that was just to get through the door." Lisbon came to a halt beside her table as he continued on to make himself comfortable on her couch. He kicked off his shoes as well.

"Unbelievable."

"Well not really. I do stuff like that all the time so you should actually be saying 'believable' but then that just doesn't have the same ring to it, does it?" A throb started in her temples, her hand reached up to rub one side in an attempt to soothe it. Her eyes closed at she tried to push against the sore spot but it didn't help. Of course she'd get a migraine on top of everything else. Why not?

"What do you want?"

"The same thing you do." She was tired, she was achy, and she wanted sleep but the second those words had fallen from his lips, her eyes opened wide, snapping up to meet his. Her cheeks filled with heat. She refused to believe they were thinking about the same thing. There was no way he'd come here with the intention to..to..there was just no way. They were back to their usual ways and she didn't want to mess that up again. "Well not _that_ Lisbon. Interesting that your mind went there of all places."

"Just tell me why you came here." She wasn't in the mood for his riddles and games but as soon as she saw his shoulders relax a sense of seriousness filled the space between them. It occurred to her then how it probably looked a little odd that she was just standing in the middle of her apartment while her guest sat on the couch. He was quiet now, staring down at his hand while he twisted the ring on his finger. She gave him a couple minutes to himself before she grew impatient. "Jane?"

"Bosco loves you."

"So you and everyone else seems to think. So what?"

"He'd do - I imagine - almost anything if you asked him to." Her muscles tensed, her brow furrowed, and she knew that whatever came out of his mouth next she wouldn't like.

"No offense, but I don't think I like where this is going."

"I want you to ask him to let me in on the Red John case." He looked serious, no trace or hint of any emotion on his face at all. Her stomach rolled, he'd confirmed what she'd been thinking and she didn't think twice before giving him an answer.

"No. Absolutely not." He pushed himself up off the couch as soon as the words escaped. She wasn't backing down, no matter how intimidating he tried to be. He walked closer, his steps calm and calculated but she stood her ground. She didn't back away when he invaded her space, nor when he leaned his head forward.

"You know I'll do whatever it takes Lisbon. I thought this would be the safest bet."

"Why can't you just let it be?" She knew she'd made a mistake when his eyes filled with something angry, something crazy. His voice was so low he practically growled when he answered.

"Red John cut open my wife and daughter and watched them die. You expect me to just let it be?"

"That's not what I meant and you know it. Sam's a good agent, he can handle this."

"I'll notice something they won't. You know I will. Teresa, I'm asking you to do this for me." Her resolve weakened at the shattered look that had taken over his features but she didn't break.

"I'm sorry Jane."

"No you're not." Flinching as if he'd slapped her in the face, Lisbon backed away this time when he took a step closer. "This doesn't affect you so it's no big deal to you."

"It doesn't affect me? You really are a selfish bastard if that's what you believe." She wasn't about to just let him come into her home and get away with talking to her in such a way. If he wanted to fight then she'd fight. They were getting awfully good at it anyway.

"Prove me wrong."

"I don't have to prove anything." Until this moment she'd kept her voice calm but it just raised an octave. They were almost nose to nose, Lisbon swallowed roughly but tried to focus on everything but how close they were. She tried to ignore how his breath tickled her lips and the intense urge she had to just crush her mouth to his.

"You are incredibly stubborn and frustrating!" Her eyes widened. Her body reacted to the tone of his voice, heat pouring through her and an embarrassing arousal lighting in her stomach. She was frustrating? Was he blind, surely he could see that her pupils had dilated and that her pulse accelerated. "Red John won't be caught unless I can help."

"You don't know that!"

"Yes I do." Her head was pounding now, her body numb with heat and her hands reached for him before she even realized what the hell she was doing. Fingers clenching in his vest, she tugged until his lips smashed against hers. Her teeth nipped roughly, drawing a yelp from him as she let her anger pour out. She'd known this was a bad idea but her brain powered off when his mouth finally pushed back. His fingers suddenly dug into her hips and she moaned at the pressure.

Her body was on fire, a blaze burning between her thighs that'd been building for weeks. She didn't think of consequences when her fingers slid through his hair to tug on the strands. His tongue slipped between her parted lips and his body pressed against hers, forcing her to take steps until her back hit the wall. She felt his teeth scrape along her bottom lip, down over her chin, across her pulse point as she gasped for air. One of his hands reached for the ponytail holder in her hair and pulled it out none too gently, letting her dark tresses fall freely. He was everywhere. His mouth on her neck, one hand gripping her hip tightly, the other in her hair and his knee was shoving it's way between her legs. There was no stopping this time, she felt it in the way his fingers dipped underneath the hem of sweater. They were possessive, demanding, unforgiving and she was loving every second. Her skin was hypersensitive to his ministrations which is why she groaned in disapproval when his mouth pulled away from just beneath her ear.

Lisbon let her hips roll against his and watched through a half lidded gaze as his eyes rolled into the back of his head when she rubbed against his hardening length. She did it again and the sound that rumbled up from his chest had her trying to clench her thighs together to relieve some of the pressure building. When both of his hands left her, she knew what his intentions were and lifted her arms above her head. He pulled the fabric from her body and tossed it aside. He wasn't in the mood to take his time and she really wasn't either. The argument had fueled a hunger in them both and they were ravenously trying to ease it.

She pushed at his clothes, tugging until the buttons slipped free and the vest and jacket joined her top. She silently dreaded the shirt, kissing him again in hopes to speed things along. She felt her bra loosen, the straps slid down her shoulders and his hands coaxed them along until she felt the silkiness slip off her fingers. Ignoring the pesky button down he wore, she let her hands settle on the zipper of his trousers.

It no longer mattered, his lips left hers swollen and bruised as he moved down to her breast, leaving kisses over the round flesh until he finally sucked a nipple between his teeth. She let out a sound of pleasure and surprise when he bit down. His hands were inside her pants, pushing them until he'd got them down past her hips. Her panties followed and she stepped out of them as her limbs finally caught up with what was happening. She disapproved the removal of his mouth from her chest but her protest was silenced when his lips engulfed hers. His pants were the next to go, underwear following shortly to free his fully erect penis from the constricting fabric. His shirt stayed.

Their hands explored feverishly, quickly, as if they had no time to enjoy the action. Tongues brushed together, mouthes dueling in a battle they were familiar with. No time was wasted. No foreplay added. Jane grabbed her thigh, hoisting it up over his hip as he positioned himself at her dripping entrance. Lisbon followed his lead, wrapping both legs around him as he thrust into her. Her mouth opened against his in a silent moan as he filled her. She was stretched uncomfortably but she didn't want to wait to adjust, she rolled her hips roughly and delighted when he took that as incentive to move within her.

Her head fell back against the wall with a thud and he buried his face in her neck, never stopping the motion of his thrusts. His fingers dug into her skin, his thrusts causing her to slide up and down the wall with each hard jerk of his hips. She honestly didn't know if there were any sounds echoing from her parted lips. All she heard was his panting, his moans, warm in her ear. She held onto him, her arms around his neck as the pleasure mounted. The bubble in her lower stomach grew, expanding through her torso and becoming almost unbearable between her thighs with each return of his hard shaft. He faltered, she felt it but did nothing. She let him speed up and slow down, let him slam into her and she gave as good as she got. Her anger had turned into an intense need for release, a need to feel him explode. It was her mission and she let one hand travel between them to rub sensually against her bundle of nerves.

Her muscles had started to tighten. First her legs, then her arms, her stomach and when it reached her toes, she knew it was seconds before she came. Her teeth clenched when Jane's rhythm became erratic. This wasn't about lasting, this was about raw need and anger. That's why her nipples were brushing against the rough fabric of his shirt.

His harsh breaths came harder, she could feel his chest heaving and she knew hers was too. His body was slicked with sweat and she loved the way it felt beneath her hand, between their bodies. He growled against her skin, making her shiver and her walls clench around him. His hands gripped her harder, so hard she knew there'd be bruises and he thrust once more before she felt his heat fill her. She was right behind him, biting her lip as she tensed while the wave of intense pleasure washed over her. She felt drained, her muscles hurting, more so than she had when she'd come home. Her body fell limp against his chest, her shaking legs untangling from him to touch the floor.

And it was that moment, when her toes met the carpet that her eyes grew wide and reality crashed hard around them. She pushed him back, he stumbled but caught himself before he fell and her hands clasped over her mouth. She looked ridiculous, she was sure but that didn't matter what mattered was they were naked in her living room. That was probably something that she could have played off if it wasn't for the fact that they were covered in sweat and each other's bodily fluids.

Jane was staring at her, just as wide eyed as she was and she knew that he hadn't intended for any of that to happen. Neither had she. Her hands dropped to cover herself as if it wasn't pointless.

"Get out." The tremor in her voice startled her. She stared at the floor, trying not to look at him but she just really wanted her clothes. At least he'd been lucky enough to keep his shirt.

"Lisbon, I - "

"Just get dressed and get out." He quickly grabbed his underwear and pants, covering himself with them but made no move to put them on. She was embarrassed, confused, and ashamed.

"I'm - "

"Please just go." He must have heard the desperation in her voice because he said no more and pulled his pants on before he grabbed his jacket and vest. He let them casually hang over his arm and handed her the shirt he'd pulled off of her. She took it greedily, not bothering to tell him thanks before she tugged it on.

"I'm - "

"Jane go. I'll talk to Sam but I need you to leave, okay?" He looked a little dejected but nodded and headed for the door without another word. He had his shoes in his hand and a grim expression on his face, she watched until he was gone and her door was closed before she grabbed the rest of her clothes in a haste. Ignoring her state of undress, she went to lock the door and then, only then, did she let her feelings show. A knot formed in her throat and no matter how many times she tried to swallow it back down, it didn't happen. Moisture gathered in her eyes, spilling over in hot trails down her cheeks.

What the hell had she done?

**an2: So, that was a beast to write but I also really loved the way it turned out. I hope you did too. :) **


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